Dating Sites

Faye and I have been together now for over 2 years. We are getting married on the 20th of this month (in less than 2 weeks). We are happy, and perfect for each other.

So what is the big deal about meeting someone? Why is it so hard to find the right person?

Faye and I didn’t just happen. It took many years of making mistakes and learning how relationships work in order to find each other. Many failed relationships, many heartbreaks, and many dollars later, I finally found Faye.

The dating world is a huge chaotic place, full of scam artists and people who only want to use you. So, with all this crap out there, how do you find love?

Well, sit back, relax, get a cup of coffee, because Dr Kender is here to explain a few secrets and tips on finding the perfect one for you.

One of the mistakes many people make in dating… is dating.

Don’t date, dating is so high school. Instead, make friends, hang out with friends and have fun. On a date, people are uptight, acting their best, dressed up, looking nice… you do not want this.

You want to see them at their worst, without the makeup, without going all out to look good. You want to be with someone who is relaxed. On a date, if it’s not going to work, it’s over, bad date, you never see them again. But if you are just hanging out with a friend, well, you can still be friends.

Being relaxed, comfortable with yourself around others, you are automagically 10 times better looking. Throw in some confidence in yourself and your abilities, and add 10 to that number. Beware, too much confidence is deadly to a relationship, you don’t want to be egotistical.

Faye and I met on a dating site. It is actually more rare to find a good relationship on a dating site, but obviously not impossible. You just have to know what to look for and what to avoid.

Avoid places like Eharmony. Eharmony is sexist, and prejudice. They discriminate against gays and lesbians, which will eventually get them shut down if they don’t change. There are thousands of dating sites, and you do get what you pay for… but there are ways to go about getting free service on paid sites (details in a few). You can go at it on your own, or you can choose from those I posted in the links section, or just use  this dating site .

One of the ways to get free service on paid sites is a bit sneaky, and against most sites terms of use, so keep that in mind when you use this tip.

To get free service, you have to sneak in your contact info into the section where you describe yourself. This also requires the other person to find it, so you can only get the observant people this way. Most sites have bots that check for key words, some have employees scan the pages, but in any case it’s possible to slip a little info through the cracks.

First, you need a lot of info, use all the space they allow to describe yourself. Yeah for some this is the hard part. Somewhere near the end but not at the end (like around 3/4th of the way down) is where you work in your info. You have to do it in a way that doesn’t draw attention to it. So, with info like, Myspace, you can break it up, like my space or go with something like myspazz. In any case, you don’t know if you have to fool a human or a bot, so you have to change the word somehow without making it stand out. Yahoo can be yahell or y i m (make sure spaces are between letters) Yes it’s a bit tricky, and a little dishonest, but in my opinion, contacting people should be free.

Since these dating sites tease you by letting you look at profiles for free, I don’t mind using this technique. Now if a dating site wants to make money, be a little more friendly and stop this type of abuse, they can just make you pay to look at profiles.

Be sure to check out the links, and see if you can find a dating site that works for you.

Now, there are a lot of people out there that do not trust dating sites… and who can blame them? With all the green card chasers, scam artists, and scum out there, it can be a dangerous place. This is not to say these people are not in the real world too, but it’s easier to spot one in real life than online.

Stay away from bars, you don’t want to meet an abusive alcoholic; stay away from clubs, or any party scene as you don’t want to meet those people either… at least not if you want something longer than a one night stand.

There is no best place to meet people. You meet people everywhere. The store, the park, church. Those are 3 really good places to meet people, but you can’t go just to meet people, you have to go for their intended purpose. It’s just the way you act while you are there.

You cannot be shy, the shy person is the lonely person. Ladies, it’s the 21st century, this guys-chasing-girls thing is over with, it’s time to start acting like you really want equality and start chasing a few guys… we really do enjoy that, just as you do. The worst they can do is say no. It is not about the game, but who is left standing in the end.

It’s all in the way you act. Simple as that.

Now, if you have a unique situation, or you would like some advice that is not listed here (please keep it on the topic at hand) then send me a message, I’ll try to help if I can.

You too can find love. There is indeed someone for everyone… yes even you.